By Regina DeAngelo
Where to get help
WARM Center: 401-596-9276.
The Jonnycake Center in Westerly and Peace Dale:
401-377-8069.
RI-CAN (Rhode Island Center for Assisting
Those in Need): 401-364 -9412.
Basic Needs Network, a collaboration of 30 social-service
agencies: Click
here
|
One October afternoon. Anna
opened a vial of Vicodin and emptied the contents into her mouth, washing about
18 pills down with a bottle of spring water. Along with that she took one
Zofran, a drug that prevents nausea, so that things would go smoothly. Then she
put a 3cc syringe into the zipper pocket of her jacket and set off on Green Hill
Beach road toward the ocean.
When she reached the beach it was getting dark. She nestled between the rocks, close to the surf, and pulled out the syringe. The idea was to shoot enough air into a vein in her arm to kill her. But she was shaking and crying too hard to maneuver the syringe. She tried again. And again; five times in all, and finally gave up as the Vicodin began to blur everything. She dropped the syringe, lay back and closed her eyes.
It was early morning, before
light, when she came to. "Oh shit," she thought, "I failed
again. Even this I can't get right."
It was freezing. It took a while for Anna to unfold herself and stand
up. When she could stand she figured she might as well walk. So she walked
until she was back home in Charlestown. At home, her husband was asleep. Anna
lay down on the living room floor.
A few hours later she awoke
throwing up violently. When the vomiting subsided, Anna washed, dressed, and
went to work at her maintenance job. On her way out, her husband said,
"next time you try to kill yourself, use your own drugs." Later, at the diner where she went every
morning, one of her friends noticed that Anna was in a bad way. She called
another friend, who got in touch with Anna's therapist, who got Anna admitted
to a hospital. She went without protest; there was nothing left in her.
It wasn't any singular event that
led Anna to attempt to kill herself, but many years and layers that brought her
down. There was the 30-year marriage that had soured long ago, but from which
Anna couldn't extricate herself. Her husband, who had a degenerative disease,
needed her as much as he berated her. Anna stayed out of guilt. Plus, she
didn’t have the money to leave.. Depression had come on slowly and settled into
her life until she no longer noticed it there. Her house, that she'd spent so
many years to renovate, was now about to go into foreclosure. Her career, which
had started with a Master's Degree in occupational therapy, had ended up as job
cleaning offices in Cranston.
With the help of friends, Anna
got the courage to leave her husband. Having nowhere affordable to live, she
commenced a year of couch-surfing. When she began to feel burdensome at one
friend's house Anna would pack her things in her car to go and sleep on the beach.
At one point she lived in a tent in Burlingame Park for two weeks. At each
turn, however, Anna had friends ready to take her in, cook her a meal. After a
year Anna finally got a small apartment. She still had her job, but it was
killing her; she'd had a severe form of arthritis since her twenties, and she
was now 55. Her job did not pay enough to cover rent, prescriptions, and food.
So she went without the prescriptions and sometimes the food. Meals with friends were great, but Anna
didn't want to be a charity case. Besides, she said, "I knew I could
always get a dollar-box of mac and cheese at the store." She had heard about the food pantries and the
soup kitchen in Westerly, but she wasn't going there.
"It was pride, I guess, and
the fact that I had a job. I thought, you shouldn't have to go to a food pantry
if you have a job. I've always been self-sufficient, not asking for
anything."
It was a couple of years after
Anna’s downturn that I went to work for the WARM Center, a social-services agency that offers emergency shelter, a soup
kitchen, and help for basic needs. Before WARM, I had no idea the extent of aid
that was available for people like Anna. WARM is part of a network of
social-service agencies across Rhode Island and Connecticut. Anyone, with any need, from young veterans
suffering PTSD to elderly people having trouble paying utility bills, to kids
whose parents can barely afford groceries, to a single person in despair who is
about to lose his home and forfeit his life, can get help from one of these
agencies. In WARM's soup kitchen I met
people working two or more low-wage jobs who still couldn't afford the mortgage
or rent. I saw how a bad turn can hit unlikely targets, like the
"achievers" I met in the shelter who, not long ago, were making five
times my salary. Or the educated, soft-spoken woman who moved from Arizona with
her kids to care for her aging father, could not find work in South County, and
was quickly running out of options.
What I was surprised to learn was
that most people don't know about the abundance of social-service agencies in
and around South County. At these agencies, professionals who understand
plights like Anna's could have worked out a mortgage adjustment with the bank;
gotten Anna some healthy food, some help paying for prescriptions; and a better
place for her husband to live affordably and comfortably.
Things eventually changed for
Anna, starting with a loan from a friend to buy a used car. Then she landed a
part-time job where she could employ her skills in occupational therapy. Then she found herself in a loving
relationship. Now, two years later, she
has a new life. Anna's story ends
happily because she had friends who helped her. But not everyone has this
luxury, perhaps because they've moved to another part of the country, or are
dealing with drug addiction or alcoholism, or mental illness or physical
illness mixed with poverty. On any given night, there are 636,000 people who
cannot afford a place to live. Thirty-seven percent of them are families with
children.
I can't help all these people
with an address to go to or phone number to call for help, but I can help
people in South County with some useful information that I hope readers will
pass on to someone in trouble. First, there's the WARM Center at 56 Spruce
Street in Westerly. They can be reached 24/7 at 401-596-9276. There's the Jonnycake Center in Westerly and in Peace Dale: 401-377-8069. There is also
RI-CAN, the Rhode Island Center for Assisting Those in
Need, which is
in Charlestown: 401-364
-9412. They belong
to network of kind people who know that loss of income does not mean a loss of
dignity, and will treat with respect anyone asking for help. This group is
called the Basic Needs Network, a collaboration of 30 social-service agencies
in the area. For information, Click
here.